It all seems to be ending.......

Well - graduation came and went and my baby girl is on her own. She moved out the day after graduation. (On only two hours of sleep I might add!!) I was really proud of myself because I actually made it through graduation with only one (yes only 1) kleenex. A couple of tears fell as she walked in, walked across the stage to get her "empty" diploma and when she walked out. So, much to the surprise of others around me and myself, I didn't bawl and carry on like a two year old. Now, that's not to say that that hasn't happened. I tell ya, I did great through the all night party, the moving endless amounts of her crap on only two hours sleep and leaving her apartment at 9:54 pm that night - after putting together a 6 foot shelf (all by myself even). But then monday roled around and the tears started and up until last night were still falling, and at some of the most inopportune times as well. Chanelle, you may have left home, but you will never leave my heart. Thank you for the gray hair, the wrinkles, the stretch marks, the bags under my eyes and the ulcers. Thank you for the laughs, the tears and the pains that I have been so blessed to experience while raising you. Thank you for being my best friend at times and for trusting me to lead you in the right direction.....even though sometimes my judgment wasn't the greatest. Most of all, Thank you for being the greatest daughter any mother could hope for. I love you and I miss you!

Her graduation was great and didn't last nearly as long as I had dreaded it lasting. The speaker was great - his advice to the graduates was simply this....."Pick a career that makes you happy - Money isn't everything!" That brings me to the next ending in my life. I have chosen a career that makes me very happy and the money isn't that great. I have struggled my entire life to survive and still be able to give my kids everything they could ever need or want. I truly enjoy what I do and my choice would not change if I had it to do all over. During my career I have been blessed to work with some of the greatest people you would ever want to meet. One of these such people is retiring this month and so ends a long standing working relationship. I have survived the retirement of several people through out my career but I will tell you this is one that I am only hoping to survive. The Honorable Judge Mark A. Beebe is retiring after 23 years of being a Magistrate Judge. I have had the honor of working with him for the last 4 years and have thoroughly enjoyed it. He is one of the most caring individuals I have ever met in my life. I have blogged about this man before and believe me, he deserves retirement. No one has ever worked so hard to change peoples lives for the better, and he is a great example to anyone who knows him. So as my time with Judge Beebe, known as "The Wizard" to me, comes to an end.....I salute you sir..........thank you so much for all of the wisdom you so graciously bestow upon me daily, thank you for your patience while I learn, thank you for your understanding when I fail, thank you for trusting me to make decisions and walk alone sometimes and for picking me up when I fall. Most of all..........Thank you for just being you.

So as my life seems to have some endings............it also has some new beginnings and I look forward to the challenges that lie ahead for me. I am sure that the lessons learned from these two people,who are so important to me, will carry me over, around and through all of the obstacles that might stand in the way. Thank you both for being a part of my life and know that my prayers and love go with you as you start the next chapter of your lives.

You're Gonna Miss This

So.........yesterday I go home, like I do after a very long day, and am just looking forward to relaxing. Much to my dismay there is a package sitting on the desk. The package that I hoped would never come. My daughter's graduation package containing her cap and gown and her graduation invitations. Needless to say the crying fest began and didn't stop until I could no longer keep my eyes open. I am truly not ready for this step in my daughter's life. I cried so much, not just because she is graduating and going out on her own, but because my kids are growing up way to fast. I heard a song the other day and it really hit home for me.....it's by Trace Adkins and it's titled "Your Gonna Miss This".

Chanelle has been quite the little traveler in the last couple weeks. She recently returned from Yuma Arizona where she spent her spring break courtesy of her grandparents. (side note: they spoiled her rotten.....as usual) At any rate, I went to Salt Lake City to pick her up on Monday, March 31st. She sent me a text message as soon as her plane was on the ground to make sure that I was waiting for her. She nearly knocked a man down the escalator when she saw me and took off running down the thing to get to me. We cried like we hadn't seen each other for months. We were fortunate enough to have her bag be the first out on the conveyor and we were off. We had made plans to stop and see Grant, my 14 year old son, in Clinton, Utah. We arrived at his house and spoke briefly with his father in the front yard before knocking on the door. This tall, extremely good looking kid answered the door and I about asked if Grant was home. Chanelle and I were stunned at how much he has changed since November. That was the last time he was able to come and stay with us. He has grown close to a foot since then. He has changed so much that even Dave didn't know who he was from a picture in my office. Dave asked me who the guy was hanging all over our daughter. He couldn't believe it was Grant.

To totally top of the idea that they are growing up, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.........I had to go to the High School with Dakota, to register him for his freshman year. It seems like just yesterday when I became his mom. He was all of 3 years old and didn't like the idea of having to share his dad with me. Now he calls me mom and I proudly call him son. I didn't need to give birth to him to be his mother. I love him as much as I do my own.

So - they are growing up and I am getting old and the world keeps turning..........but that's the way it should be and I am starting to get used to it......(a little bit). One thing I know for sure, I am gonna miss this!!

I can't take it any more....

Well, it's about time I stop neglecting this little blog of mine. Not that a lot of people read it anyway, but I have been told (by a very close friend) that in my current state of mind, it couldn't hurt to spew away.

I am really bent lately that I seem to have become the housemaid. I am not called the loving wife or doting mother......I think I am lucky if I am called anything that doesn't constitute a word requiring asterisk and percentage signs to remain "G" rated. You see the family, loving little creatures (all 6 of them) that they are, seem to never be around when any work needs to be done. And if they are......well they are really good at ignoring it. I know I am the only one who notices that the mirrors/doors/glass need cleaning to see into or out of. I am pretty sure that unless they were to trip and hurt themselves, nothing would ever get picked up and put in it's proper place without my help. I know that we could grow new cultures for some sort of genetic research if I didn't diligently clean the toilets in the house on a weekly basis. The garbage gets taken out when "I" cannot seem to get another thing into the sack or I lose at the game. The family will gently stack whatever they are throwing out, so as not to disturb the bag that is resting so nicely in it's can. (As if they are playing a game of "trash Jenga" or something - "oooo, be careful, don't knock over the tower of trash!!!") The dishes are only done when I can't stand the smell coming from the sink area, there are no more clean dishes or I scream at the top of my lungs at my son to get the damn things done (because that is the only job he is supposed to do, without being asked.....well I am to the point, I don't ask anymore, I yell!!) My daughter refuses to do dishes, because....and this just slays me......she doesn't like the way it makes her hands feel. OMG - what do her hands feel like when she gets out of the hour and a half shower/bath or whatever it is she's doing for that long with the water heater working overtime to provide her precious butt with enough hot water to bath half of the free world!!!

And the biggest obstacle weighing on my mind - LAUNDRY - well, that's my life - if I don't have at minimum - 12 to 15 batches of laundry every weekend, then either something is horribly wrong in the Chavez home, or one or more of them have not been home for a couple days. My sweet, precious daughter changes her clothes a minimum of 3 times a day and nothing can be worn twice...at least not in the same month!! My son is about the same, only with him....this is how it goes. He gets up in the morning and puts something on. Gets somewhat ready for school and decides that he doesn't look cool enough in what he first put on and changes into something totally different. The problem with this is, the first outfit falls to the floor and eventually ends up in the "dirty" clothes hamper without ever being worn. Then when he gets home from school.......it's time to change into something different yet again.......not pajama's cause it's waaaaay to early for that.....just some shorts or sweats or another pair of comfortable jeans. These items of clothing are worn for approximately 2 hours before he has dinner and then it's shower time..........where yet another change of clothing will occur......still not the pj's.....nooo not quite bed time yet. This will be less clothing that the after school change, but not quite down to the skivies he wears to bed. A different pair of shorts/sweats and another t'shirt because any of the other's he wore earlier are completely unacceptable when you get out of the shower. Then at bedtime, well, the shorts (fresh after shower) and ANOTHER t'shirt are acceptable. My loving husband only changes clothes twice a day......his nice clothes or uniform for work and then the after work clothing. I seem to be the only one who wears the same clothing from the time I get dressed in the morning until I retire for the evening. WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE DOING THE LAUNDRY???? My daughter will assist, when she wants something, but it is usually all of her clothes and what she finds in her bathroom, the kitchen and a few things that may have made their way to the laundry room. She would not dare actually get the dirtly clothes hampers from her brother's room or our room. That would be far to much to ask. My son says that he would do the laundry, but with the amount of dish soap he uses for one sink full of dishes - I wouldn't have enough laundry soap for all 15 loads. My husband says that he would help, but it's never good enough for me.....his way of deliberately doing it wrong so that I don't want him to touch the laundry.

At any rate......I have had all of the fun I want have. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!

IT'S A BRAND NEW YEAR......or is it??

Happy New Year everyone. Hope everyone's holidays were as wonderful as mine. I was lucky - had all of my kids home, save the one who's dad doesn't think he should ever spend a holiday with me. Trav was able to be home from the Army and spend Christmas with us, so that was a present in and of itself. At any rate, the kids seemed to be rather happy with what they received from everyone and I was just excited to get it all over with. I really don't like shopping and this year it was really a pain because we had to wait until the weekend before Christmas to even get anything. I was able to spend some (very little) time with my niece and nephew, who were visiting from Colorado Springs. We met for lunch on said shopping weekend and it was great to see them both again.

So now, the new year is upon us and with every passing year, time seems to go faster and faster. Chanelle was loving it when the new year rolled around as she has looked forward to the year "2008" since about the 3rd grade or so. I think that is when she decided that she had had enough of elementary school and could not wait to graduate. Dakota was pretty excited for the new year as well because this will be the year he starts high school. Dave was looking forward to beginning the new year because the sooner it gets here, the sooner the snow goes, baseball starts, the snow melts and he can hit the "GOLF COURSE". I, on the other hand, would like time to just stop right now, let me get caught up with all that has fallen by the wayside and even a little ahead would be good. I don't make new years resolutions anymore.....keeps me from feeling like a loser when I don't follow through with them. Now I just set a goal, keep it in mind and know that "eventually" I will achieve it. I just set the goal, not the time frame.....see what I am getting at here? Oh....and the worst part of starting a new year........it takes me forever to get the year right when writing the date.

Season's Greetings to Everyone!!

It's that time of year again - the time for everyone to worry about how they are going to pay their bills and afford christmas presents for everyone they know. It is the time of year when I really think about everyone..........my family, my friends, the men and women of the armed forces serving our country, the loved ones who have passed on, those more fortunate than myself and of course, with a heavy heart, those less fortunate than myself. It is at this time of year that I really think about all I have and all I have been given. It's not that I don't think about these things all year, just that at this time of year, when people are consumed with giving, it really comes to the forfront of my mind. I am reminded of everyone who has given something to me, most of which I take for granted and I don't think I am alone in this. Maybe this is the time of year that we should all reflect on ourselves, be grateful for what we have and thank those who are responsible for it.

First, let me start with my family - You are all so wonderful - thank you for always being there for me, no matter what. Without fail, you are there when I need you, be it happy times or times of sadness you are right there to lean on and show support. You all have no idea what that means to me. Because I don't say it as often as I should, THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU.

Secondly, my friends - I have so many friends. I am so fortunate to have each and every one of you in my life. I love you all more than words can say.

Next, it goes without saying, I am very grateful to the men and women of our armed forces fighting for our country domestically or abroad. One soldier, who I care for in particular, is on my mind daily. Be safe out there and know that you are loved and appreciated.

I would say that for the most part in thinking of those who have passed on, I am very selfish. I want them here, with us, celebrating the holidays, family and friends. I have to believe that their beautiful souls are in a better place but my heart still holds the empty space that they once filled.

To those of you more fortunate than myself - I pray you use your wealth, power and influence in a positive manner - to further prosperity and to assist in assuring safety and security for all mankind.

Last but certainly not least, to those of you less fortunate than myself. I CARE, I am here for anyone who needs a helping hand. I pledge that if I cannot help, I will do my best to find someone who can. I spend my life dealing with people who have made less than honorable decisions in their lives and I believe that everyone can change if they have the desire. I care more than anyone knows. I pray that anyone who needs a helping hand gets it, that anyone who needs a morsel of food is fed, that anyone who needs shelter finds it and to anyone who feels that they are at the end of their rope, tie a knot and HANG ON. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes it's hard to know how long the tunnel is or how many twists and turns there will be along the way.

I will close this post by saying thank you to all of those who have stood by my side through the good, the bad and the ugly. You know who you are and I hope you know how very much I appreciate all you do for me. Take care this holiday season - Merry Christmas and may your new year be filled with all you wish for.

Dedicated to AMERICA'S HEROES

AND GONE AGAIN...

Okay - so this is just a little follow up to the previous post, but hang in there folks.....I'll have something else soon.

Travis is off to Fort Lewis Washington, at least until next August when he is supposed to be deployed to Iraq. My prayers are that he not have to go, that no else has to go and the remaining heroes all come home safe and sound real soon. I put him on the plane Tuesday morning and cried like a baby. It's quite strange really, not having given birth to this boy, but still feeling like the mom. He calls me the "A Mom". (I did confirm that is a good thing!) Anyway, he has called or sent text messages every day and seems to be getting along just fine. He did say that he was freezing parts off of his body however. We had this discussion that it would be colder there than it is here in Idaho because of the humidity, but he didn't believe me and left some of his warmer clothes here (along with his hanging clothes bag that contains his Class A uniforms - couldn't get them on the plane without paying another $75.00 - he had too many bags). I miss him being around the house and one of my dogs is completely lost without him. He was her buddy. She keeps wandering around the house looking for him and curls up with the blanket that he slept with while he was here. It was nice having him here and seeing what a "man" he has become.

I know that this war is a controversial subject and I don't even want to go there......each person is entitled to their own opinion and can scream it at the top of their lungs if they wish and whether it is pro or against the efforts - the irony is they owe that freedom to those who have served, continue to serve and will serve in the future.

My heart and soul goes out to all of those serving this country. YOU are ALL my HEROES!! Of course I pray every day for their safety and the safety of those at home waiting for them to come home. I miss my "son" - he is in my thoughts each and every day and we all look forward to his return.

Be safe out there son and know that your "family" here loves you and prays for you daily. Come home soon!!

He's finally home

Just got back yesterday from picking up my "adopted" son from the airport in Salt Lake City. He has spent the last 4 months and 10 days completing his basic training and AIT School for the UNITED STATES ARMY. I didn't think we were ever going to get him here. Literally.

What a rollercoaster ride it's been. He hasn't had the best life and wasn't given a fair hand to start out his young impressionable life. He, like many other young people, didn't have any kind of positive guidance growing up. So began the troubled years of becoming a teenager without supervision. Of course that lead to trouble and although many people tried to help along the way, it didn't seem to matter. The damage had been done. At some point though, all things come to an end.....notice I didn't say all "good" things come to an end.

This young man reached the bottom after having too good of a time, one too many times and getting caught. The judge whom I work for is a fair and compassionate judge, but he too has his limits. He placed the young man behind bars and gave him the choice to sit it out or change his life for the positive. You can imagine the decision was not an easy one for this troubled young man, but he did ultimately choose to change his life. I introduced him to a recruiter friend of mine from Pocatello. With the judge's approval, he joined the Army and was shipped out as soon as we could process the paperwork.

The day I dropped him off at the recruiter's office to leave for basic training was one of the worst days and best days of my life. I had taken this young man into my heart as one of my own. He didn't have the support system that other's have when making such a huge step and major decision in his life. I have known this young man for most of his life and know the background very well. He deserved better. I had such a feeling of uneasiness because of the continuing war in Iraq and being worried about what could happen to him, should he be sent over there. I was also very proud of him and felt like "my son" would make it NO MATTER WHAT. I don't know if he shared my optimism at the time, but he soon found out that he was more than capable of doing what was expected of him.

He was a squad leader in basic and in AIT. Yes, you heard me right, a LEADER. I wrote to him on average of once a week while he was in basic training and enjoyed getting the letters from him. I could tell he was growing up and becoming the responsible young man that I knew he was capable of. Although I thought that the first letter from him would be cussing me for encouraging him to do this, it wasn't, in fact at some point he even agreed that he made the right decision for his future. Once he reached AIT, he had access to his cell phone and we were able to talk in person more than write letters. His days of having to write a letter were over......("thank god" were the words he used!) As the time passed by and I knew it was coming closer to the day when he would be able to come home for leave, prior to reporting to his home base, I wondered if he would want to return to "home" as he always knew it or would he just go straight to his first assignment? To my delight, he chose to come HOME.

He is here for about 10 days and we are really happy to have him here. I had to beg him to wear his uniform in to my office today, but he did it for me and he looked great! There were a lot of people looking forward to seeing him. I don't look forward to saying goodbye again, but know that it has to happen. My greatest hope, wish and prayer is that it will not be the last time I see him. ("Please god, keep him safe and bless all the other troops who fight to keep us free!") God Bless Our Troops!!

And as they say........the rest is history. He's finally home!